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Before You Say I Do: Part 1

By – Andrew Mejire Etoh

Just married couple, holding hands and walking in nature

Hello every one, we are Less than a week from that special time of the year. Its Christmas season, a time of joy, love, peace and merry making. Its that moment where its all about spending time with family, friends and loved ones. Which brings me to todays topic. Love is truly a beautiful thing, especially when its shared by both parties (its a disaster if the fraction isnt complete and balanced) there comes a point in life when you meet someone and you have that warm fuzzy feeling like; hes the one or shes the one. You also get to the point where you are ripe for the plunge (spending a lifetime together in marriage) You might be right and then again, you might be dead wrong. This lecture doesnt just apply to ladies but to the guys as well. Ill give you two scenarios.

Scenario 1. Jackson is a cool dude, handsome, lovable, has a decent job, financially comfortable and stable, God fearing, checks out on all the kinks every girl would want in a man. Theres one problem, Jackson has a girlfriend, he makes her comfortable, provides for her, committed, loving, caring and all. But Jacksons girlfriend doesnt love him. Jackson has been in and out of similar relationships; dating the same kind of girls, never willing to commit, unfaithful, typical babbitt, flashy video vixen with the allure of a mermaid whose life goals simply revolves round living the luxurious life only the wealth of a man can provide. Jackson has had his chance with decent girls he could have settled with and been happy, but he only seems to be attracted to this kind of ladies.

And that leads me to scenario 2; Patricia is a pretty young lady of marriageable age, shes hardworking, runs a successful business, shes loving, responsible, dedicated and committed, she has most of the features that clarifies her as the wife material. Patricia has been in several failed relationships, dating the same kinds of guys, lazy, morally repulsive, abusive, classic NFA (No Future Ambition) uncommitted, possessive etc kind of guys. Patricia desires a better life but never seems to understand the concept of the popular saying all that glitters isnt gold along the line Patricia friend zoned who would have been her ideal partner and said yes to the psychotic Clinton. Fast forward some years later, Patricia is full of regret, she remains in bondage enduring the torture and pain from an abusive marriage.

So ladies and gentlemen, before you say I do there are some salient questions that need to be answered, issues that needs to trashed out, factors that needs to be considered. Of course there are many but Ill be listing some of them.

Now its not uncommon knowledge that the early stage of a relationship or even courtship is the pretentious stage. Everyone tends to act up, at least till they feel secure, usually after you must have said I do and thats when you see the real person. (in most cases its probably too late) In the early phase, love makes you delusional. You only tend to see what you want to see and might likely ignore all the warning signs, you are getting involved with the wrong person. Thats because for someone in love, the part of the brain responsible for processing logical reasoning and decision making is closely located to the part of the brain thats responsible for emotions such as love. When the love section works, the other part responsible for processing logical reasoning malfunctions and completely shuts down in some cases. I think its the most appropriate time to trash issues such as long and short term goals for the relationship, levels of feelings for each other, health challenges, religious/political/cultural views… To be continued next Week.

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One comment

  1. Hmmmmmmm, interesting

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