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Recipe For Going Broke

By – Linda Ibeh

Naira-Notes

I know that everyone is afraid of being broke. The saddest times of my life have been when I had no money and couldnt do much. I dont have so much money now, but I can arrange/organize what I have to provide for my needs. But I know people who dont care to proportion spending. They spend as it comes and hope more will mysteriously appear

Anyway, here are a few ways to hasten your strides to the broke community/ to make you rich in red

 

Buy everything you like. There is only one life abi? So enjoy it. That designers bag you love and can get from the thrift store for #3000, order it from that luxury store online celebrities buy from for three times more so you can take a picture, post it online and tag themlet all your contacts see that you can afford to sit with the celebrities and maybe, have your picture be reposted by the store. You know after you do all these it automatically translates to more money for you in your account

Eat everything you feel like. Who came to this world to die of hunger?? Without food how can you function? Your second home should be all the eateries around. Have their numbers on speed dial too so that the day your legs are heavy, theyll come to you with your sumptuous meal. You know the market is a razz place and when you were little your dad warned you sternly to stay away from the kitchen. Or the knife fell two inches away from your feet and now you have a phobia for knifes and kitchens and just wont go into one. So the money you should use to make two different tasty meals, you use it to order from your favorite eatery and enjoy your life.

Work less and sleep more. Nine months in your mothers belly sleeping most of the time was definitely not enough. You need to sleep more now that you are young so that when you are old you will work. Going for classes is a chore and youd rather enjoy your morning sleep (thats the best time to sleep anyway), arrive for your classes late and get sent out, take your siesta seriously. Nothing should separate you from that. Arrive late at your appointments because waking early is just too stressful for your royal self

Life na jeje. Have the I cannot come and kill myself attitude. Dont feel pressured to achieve things because they seem too difficult. If push comes to shove, kindly withdraw and leave it for them to drag, wait for the next opportunity because that one has your name stamped on it. Take your sweet time darling, no pressure, no stress. If your mates are hussling, relax, be laid back, God will dump a trailer load of money on your bed while you sleep so that you wake up rich! Abi?

SO there you have it.Recipe for cooking broke

Glossary

Broke: Nigerian slang for being poor or having no money

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