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Its My Personality; I Cant Change It

By – Lois Peters



Some months back, I wrote an article about a young girl who grew up saying, “it’s my personality, that is who I am and I cannot change it”, whenever she is asked why she does what she does.

Yesterday again, I entered into an unplanned mentorship session (that I wasn’t even qualified for) with some lady friend who had same mindset. We argued back and forth, until we finally came to a place of objective truth!

She argued that our personalities cannot be changed, as it is our nature. She gave instances of real challenges happening in a relationship her friend was in, because her husband to be felt she was not expressing herself well enough. And she went ahead to encourage her friend to leave the relationship.


Now, a lot of people have got it confused. Personality is not revealed or known for the purpose of building your life around it. But it reveals to you where you are at the moment to start making a journey to where you desire to be.

To further buttress this point:

Yes I know I have the tendencies of being fat. I got it from my father. So when I started watching my weight some three years back, my friend tried to dissuade me by saying that there’s no need, after all you’ll still get fat, it’s in your genes and you can’t change it. Quickly, I begged to differ with him. I told him that circumstances and experiences thrive in our lives, and so far as we allow it to thrive we do not recognize the root cause and address it.

What do I mean? Yes! My father’s lineage have fat people, so therefore I have adipose tissues in my gene and no need of working out because it’s always going to be there? Then I ask, can HIV be cured? Oh yes! Every virus thrives as long as the viral load is high and is on the high. But when special treatments are applied and the viral load comes to zero, my dear, you are free from HIV for life (I’m a proud biochemist). The same goes with fat. When you engage yourself in exercise and burn it all out whilst converting them to muscles, you’ll hardly ever get fat. I know some people who have had the experience.

The same goes also with personality. When you realize your personality, you begin to work on your weaknesses to become better versions of yourself, that’s the goal.

Can you imagine that this same friend told me that he stopped disturbing their first son for not being hardworking because he came to a false realization (I might add) that not everybody is supposed to be hardworking. So now, they prefer to be giving him money every other month. And we are talking about a married man here oo… he is lazy but not when it involves manifestation in the “other room”? (Hahahaha, na presido teach us oo).

My dear, don’t make a law out of everything. You’re not leaving up to your responsibility is not because it’s your nature. It’s an ugly nurture you picked up but is subject to change. Stop saying things that stagnate you and wonder why you’re not advancing.

Your personality is not your bane!

Stop giving yourself reasons not to go beyond where you are. Remove that lid you have placed over yourself. Every one of us has the capacity to be stretched and become anything in this life. And until you say you have no more jars, trust me, the oil will keep flowing. No one was given more capacity than you. It all depends on how far you want to go in the pursuance of destiny and success!

Bloom and live up to your true self!

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