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Parenting: Raise The Child You Have, Not The Child You Want

By – Pleasure Chizoba

Most parents come into parenting with preconceived notions. They project into the future and fantasize about who their kids might become and how absolutely perfect they’d inevitably be. Parents secretly hope that their kids will be like them only smarter and maybe more talented, so they could be their mentor and put their life experiences to good use. But guess what? Children are all authentic and unique, they are wired their own way. Parents more often than not forces their dreams and ideas on them which would never work, because their destiny is different from yours. Many parents have made the mistake by failing to consider their natural and God-ordained gift. Parents are responsible for helping the children become the best version of themselves. Parents are called to maximize their strength and minimize their weaknesses, model moral excellence, and mold them into responsible citizens. But if we really want the children to discover the best life—a life filled with purpose, we also have to respect their inherent design. This means training them in a direction that allows them to be true to themselves and who God made them to be.

God made no mistakes in creating children, infact they are the most precious. He created everyone of them with great attention and intention. None of us know exactly God’s plan for children or what He may be equipping them for in the future. A trait that seems like a terrible flaw right now can actually be a lifesaver in certain situations. A trial that seems like a burden can seem like as a blessing when all is said and done.

A strong-willed girl who isn’t afraid of challenges and standing up for what she believes, for instance, may be exactly what her peers need when an injustice arises, and they need someone brave to speak up.

A sensitive boy who barely speaks a word may become a prolific artist who eloquently expresses those deep human emotions that help people connect and feel less alone.

A boy who stutters and struggles with speech may develop an unbelievable work ethic that makes him try harder than everyone, not giving up on himself, and ultimately reach a position of influence where he can help a wide range of kids who face his former struggles. The point is this, there is no “one right way ” a child should be. God created each child to carry out a special mission. Only time will tell what their mission is. Despite the differences we notice among children, there’s one term that applies across the board: world changer. Every child is meant to be a world changer and every child deserves the right to change the world by being who they are, not who others want them to be. Giving the children the permission to be themselves makes them happier and the parents happier too. Parents should learn to celebrate and respect their children’s personalities without wishing for them to change. Always celebrate their strengths not weaknesses. If you want to correct them on something,start by telling them of the good things they’ve done. Always give them a reason for correcting them. Don’t allow your work or business hinder good communication with your kids. And lastly, be the number one fan of their skill or talent.

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