By – Linda Ibeh
A parasite is “an organism which lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the other’s expense”, hence anything parasitic is bad to one and good to another person.
Some people are parasites in your life disguised as friends. This can’t be the first time you are hearing or reading about this. In case you are having a hard time coming to a conclusion, this should be a way of making it easy to decide to either stay or cut and if you are guilty of milking from others without giving….know yourself
Throughout this week, I have been chanting “I am tired of friends”. Why? “Help me do this” “help me buy that” “come and do this” “let me take your that” …this is draining! But I wouldn’t have a problem with it if it was worth it..you know? If I was getting the vibe that it’s a mutual thing.
One of my old “friends” called me on Sunday. After the extra sweet pleasantries I asked what he wanted and he goes “haa ahn, who says I want something. Can’t I call to greet you again?” I said yes you can but there’s an extra effort this time and “you have asked how I am doing for over 5 times in less than two minutes! Whatsup?” and then came the “can you help me …” And it didn’t stop there, I got similar whatsapp messages from about two others requesting I do this or that for them. It’s downright rude I think! If you haven’t spoken to a person in a long while it is inappropriate to call them for a favor! When I was in school, if it got to the time to remind my family about my allowance, I’d call from a week ahead to “just check on them” and then ask about the allowance days later and these are people who are family and who know their responsibility.
It is even more rude, if you have no solid relationship to base your request on . If your relationship with a person is on a 20%, how dare you request for 80% of their time/effort/help? It’s outrageous.
If a person only comes to your mind when you need something done, you are a parasite to them, if you recharge your phone only when you need to call people and ask for money, parasite. If you reject calls of old friends, parasite. If you take the calls and when it gets to a serious part of the convo you start acting like you can’t hear them, you are a parasite. If you come up with excuses on why you can’t help them do something constantly, parasite! All you do is take and take and take with only “thanks” as your form of repayment.
Change your ways!
To both parties involved; Parasite and host. Change your ways. One thing has to give in this situation. It is unhealthy for the host to be the only giver in the relationship, it’s going to make you crazy and sad and depressed. It’s going to leave you feeling like you are only worth something when you are needed. Although there is a plus side to people needing you but there is a downside to the feeling that you are only good when you have something you can give in return for the friendship. You need to “pick your battles”. Go all in for the exact same people that will do same for you, nothing less. If the parasites call as usual, allow them “waste” the airtime they wouldn’t naturally spend on you and then when they get to the request part, nicely reject. You don’t even need to reject it with a “cogent” reason. Just flow with it, whatever comes to mind say it. I feel like I’ll probably give reasons like “I don’t feel like it”, “I don’t do that anymore”, “sorry I’ll be sleeping”. I mean…you gotta have fun doing it.
And if you’re a parasite, all you do best is milk people of everything you can get from them…money, assistance, their life, if you don’t curb it you’re going to wake up one day and discover that no one wants to pick your calls, respond to your messages or talk to you. And you know what? It will be the best thing that happened to all the hosts. So change your ways.
Don’t ask for what you can’t give and we will all live forever together in unity and the world will be a better place.