By – Jamylah Yusuf
Hello Everyone. I would love to start with this beautiful quote on narcissism
Half the harm that is done in this
world is due to people who want to
feel important. They don’t mean to
do harm, but the harm [that they
cause] does not interest them. Or
they do not see it, or they justify it
because they are absorbed in the
endless struggle to think well of
themselves. T.S Elliot.
If you are wondering what narcissism is, dont wander too far. Narcissism is an Excessive self love or an excessive interest in admiration of one’s self or one’s physical appearance. It is basically a pursuit of gratification from the egoistic admiration of one’s own attributes. (Too much grammar right?), Narcissism is a form of mental disorder in case you never heard, it is known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with this disorder are said to have an inflated sense of self importance, they lack empathy and have a high need for admiration from other people . So when you realise you have become so much obsessed with your self, your thoughts, looks, abilities and even your words just WATCH IT!.
A lot of narcissists do not even know they have a problem. It can be diagnosed medically, but not through the regular laboratory tests and what not. Narcissists use people like pawns in a chess game. Sometimes they do not even realise they are doing so. People are more like tools for narcissists, they get what they need from you and they discard you. They are usually the ‘know it all’ of a group. They always have words of wisdom for people but never listen to what anyone has to say. You never get the chance to speak when you are with a narcissist, your opinions are mostly seen as irrelevant and the few times they let you speak, they listen with a scorn on their face and get very defensive if by any chance, you faulted them in any way in your little advice. Their achievements and abilities are usually the subjects of your discussions that it almost feels like you are non-existent. For a narcissist, you either belong to their camp or do not exist at all. If you dare to have a different opinion from that of your narcissist friend , that is most likely the end of your friendship.
You Remember the Queen Bees and the Big boys of your Secondary school cliques right? Especially the ‘Queen Bees’, they’re the girls who usually had a makeup kit in their school bags, the ones everyone wanted to be friends with. These girls could turn the whole class against you if you dare have an issue with them. You are not allowed to disagree with them. If they ever feel like you are a threat to their queendom, they make your life miserable.
This is just at the secondary school level. You can imagine to what extent this girls would go to maintain this ‘self created image’ in the bigger world. The most alarming thing about narcissist is, beneath that air of importance and sophistication narcissist carry around, there is usually just an empty miserable person. This is probably why they have this constant need of wanting to feel important and be admired. For a narcissist, everything is about them. Its like there’s this blindness they suffer from that doesn’t allow them see other people as people like themselves. If you ever feel like you are becoming a narcissist or excessively doing some of the things narcissist do, don’t hide under the guise of ‘self love’.
It is different from narcissism and the difference is in its depth. Seek help, trample on that ever growing ego a bit. Try to be emphatic and above all remember that Pride comes before a fall!.