By – Kayode Ipadeola
Have you ever been embroiled in a fight and later realized that it was all about ego? How dare him sack me? Who is he to break up with me? They can’t talk to me like that and get away with it! Bla bla bla..
The things that are most important often do come without challenge or struggle. Nobody likes to lose, but that doesn’t mean every conflict or struggle you encounter in life is worth a fight. When we notice something slipping away from our grasp, our instinct is to go into fight mode to protect and preserve what belongs to us . A threat to our career means a fight. A threat to our education means fight. A threat to our relationship means it’s time to fight. The willingness and readiness to fight off a threat is though a healthy trait. But some situations simply are not worth a fight.
Sometimes a sack note is the best thing that could happen to boost your career advancement in another setting. Rejection from a spouse may pull the plug on a relationship that’s been strong for too many years. The repossession of the belonging you couldn’t afford may be your ticket to economic freedom and redemption.
At first, these kinds of situations can stir you into fight mode. But fighting for something that is inconsequential in the grand scheme of your dream can hold you back from attaining what you really desire. On a deeper norm, survival may mean letting go of what’s been holding you back. Very often, knowing whether it’s time to fight or let go is a matter of putting your ego in check.
Why do we engage in the wrong fight?
Judging from the first paragraph; Ego fights are often ugly, vicious, and uncivil. But when you fight for a true cause, like your dream, you make reasonable and sound decisions because it’s not really about you. It’s about your call to serve humanity. Conversely, when your fight is about ego, you can make all kinds of stupid, irrational decisions because the ego tells you that the only thing that’s important is you.
Sometimes we fight the wrong battles because of displaced anger. Cmon! You can’t fight with your boss at work so you come home and fight with your spouse or your friends. You can’t fight with your friends at school so you take it out on your church members and fight about meaningless, trivial matters.
Bottom line; Some fights you get sucked into are really other people’s struggles. People who are afraid of fighting for themselves can be masters at manipulating others into fighting for them. So before you get set to do battle, define the battle by making sure you’re fighting your own battles for your own meaningful and worthwhile purpose. After all, time is a precious commodity and it must be used judiciously. Carefully choose the situations and circumstances that are worth fighting for.
I say, meaningless combat won’t help your future. Invest your time in a wise fight!!