By – Lois Peters
Issues with subjects like “my boyfriend won’t do this or that”, “my husband doesn’t care about me” and similar stories get to my desk maybe because of the kind of job I do, but one annoying thing about such complaint is the fact that they are consistent, so I decided to explore why most ladies complain and I discovered that the core reason for all this shitty stories boils down to “THE LACK OF SELF LOVE”.
See, Were so busy waiting for someone to love us, treat us in ways we can’t even treat ourselves and weve forgotten about the one person we need to love firstourselves.
Some might think this is selfish but trust me being selfish is expecting someone to do for you what you can’t do for yourself, to call you names you can’t call yourself, to buy you stuff that you feel is a waste if you buy for yourself.
Hey Sweetie, I know we are all guilty about this on different levels but that’s absolutely irrational to expect what you can’t give to you.
So HOW CAN I LOVE MYSELF(More)?
Well, it’s not an easy one especially when it wasn’t conditioned from childhood in additionto cultural belief and societal responsibility heaped up for spouses.
Here is the DEAL, You must at first learn to forgive yourself.
Yea! You might have been rude to yourself, intentionally or unintentionally hurt yourself through self talk or allowing other people treat you harshly. You must forgive yourself and let go of everything. As Tess Marshall has suggested, Use this affirmation, I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing your best). Remember forgiveness is a conscious activity.
Secondly, you must learn to accept yourself just the way you are. Appreciate your looks and feel good about you, Be kind to you, admire you having in mind that if you don’t nobody else would.
Also, you must learn to treat yourself in that manner you want others to treat you. You wouldn’t be happy if someone criticizes you unduly or compares you to some other person right? Then don’t do this to yourself. Work on some self developing activities, could be health wise, spiritually, mentally, Just make sure you’re giving yourself opportunities to become a better version of you.
This would be a great challenge but would be easier if the earlier steps had been taken properly. When you have forgiven and accepted yourself.
If everyone deserves love and respect, you do.
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You dont need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanhh