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December In Lagos

By – Linda Ibeh


It. Is. hot yawl! Phew

Lagos is getting more and more interesting, people are so creative and they use it for the wrong things. Totally wrong

If you see a person with your neighbours face in public, you don’t know them! If you see your church member trying to call for your attention, you do not know him! If you see an elderly man coughing and calling for help………..darn it you don’t know him! You don’t help!

Last week Thursday, I went to deposit money at the GTB bank on Allen. On my way back, I was called to please direct an elderly man who was being driven by another older man. The driver looked to be in his 40s and the man being driven looked like he was in his 60s. Now naturally, I would just walk past but seeing as they appeared harmless…I stopped. We exchanged pleasantries and then the driver asked where he could locate a venue(I don’t remember the name of the location), I asked what street it is on and just about that time, another mature man walked past and the driver immediately switched to him, asking him the same question. I immediately made to leave but was beckoned to hang on by the old man passenger. The mature man immediately knew the location they were referring to, told them it was at Ikeja GRA and then proceeded to ask if he was a pastor coming for Adeboye’s stuff and he said yes, he had just come in from America and needed direction.

Pointer 1: he was speaking English like an indian

Pointer 2: it was frigging 12 noon

Pointer 3: so you came from the airport, drove past Ikeja and came to Allen? Ok!

He said ‘my daughter come closer’ I did and he prayed for us both and mentioned something about someone travelling and keeping save and buying biscuits and coke for kids as charity. They drove off and I continued to my office. This mature man immediately started telling me his life story. His father was sick, he had to travel to see him, the man has been hospitalized, blah blah, the pastor had said something about travelling, we shouldn’t take it lightly, we had to ask the man of God why he said what he said. I said he was taking it too serious and he got angry and said he was going if I wouldn’t. Surprisingly, the car hadn’t driven past us, so it drove by again and the older man beckoned me to come. They parked and the man of God went to say he had seen something bad about our future and asked if we would be angry if he told us, we both said no.

He then regaled the mature man with the exact story the man  had told me about his father’s health the man kept vigorously shaking his head as the pastor spoke of the exact things happening in his life. He looked at me with an ‘I told you so look’.

My turn: he said he was seeing something bad about my mum. Slip 1. Then asked where she was, I said grave. He then switched to the witch in my family that killed her and wants me dead too. slip 2 How they had given me three days to live, me having menstrual cramps slip 4, back pain, people promising and failing, people paying me back with evil slip 5. I had to pray so their plan doesn’t work. I said ok and turned to go, the mature man stalled me again ‘how can a man of God say this kind of thing to you and you just leave?’ he then asked ’man of God what should we do’. Man of God asked if we would do what he says. The man said yes I said no, he asked why, I told him I can pray and that the connection I have with god is stronger than his. Then I left

I pondered the number of people they would have scammed that day. How many times they have driven round to Allen roundabout to start afresh, I wondered why a person sat down to think of a strategy to scam people. I mean if you have the ability to figure that religion is a weak point on Nigerians and mothers are weak points with women and that people are scared of dying, then you can do more!

Kai! I felt like shooting their tires out!

Truthfully, I think that if He had been spot on with a number of things about me, I most likely would have done anything he said.

Stay safe out there. Remember, on the streets, you don’t know anybody, you don’t know anywhere, you don’t know where they can get a bus going to  Opi, you don’t know, you don’t know the colour of the air they breathe. You just don’t know and you keep walking.


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  1. Omo the heat ehn! They wanted to use you to shine.you should have left immediately. Please don’t shake hands o.they could be carrying jazz that way

  2. My dear it’s so glaring o! Lagos has d highest rate of fraudulent individuals! (over 90%) Can’t count the number of times some good looking women approached me on d way asking for tfare and it’s hard to believe they can’t afford such…..wf d good clothes they put on! You’d be surprised if u had accepted that his false prophecies is/has occurring(ed) in ur life na issue! At the end of the day it all boils down to ‘ making ‘MONEY’ via false prophecy means! Who knows……they might even be ritualist????? Everyday new means of scaming people of their sweat! God help us all!

  3. Lol,I don’t know oooooo mbok

  4. Damnnn…lin you should have punched dem for mee oooo choi!!!..dats exactly wat happened to me in skl if you recall wen i resumed late…now ehh i just shout weneva i suspect dem around…

  5. Lagos is bad mehn.God help us all

  6. Hmm bloodiest December yet to come.Every one should just be smart

  7. …..Different tactics everyday . God help us .

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