By – Kayode Ipadeola
I look at relationships this days and all I can do is shake my head.. Ladies have been a key contributor to sudden ending of an affair. They have been the thief robbing themselves of happiness in a relationship and their own cause of constant heartbreak ignorantly. They fight for the relationship as though the man is an egg.
“Anything a person chases in life runs away.”
Relationships this days have become nothing but a show off thing- “I’ve got a bf.” This has been the major reason every lady/girl is in a relationship. They all wants to be taken. A kind of sense of belonging to a man. But why does that?
This isn’t a football thing that every player wants to belong to one team or another.
Reoccurring mistakes made by girls
Everyone has known a “nice girl.” She is the kind that will overcompensate, give everything to a guy she barely knows without even allowing him to invest much in the relationship. A nice girl often gives blindly because she wants so much for her attentions to be reciprocated, she’s the kind who goes along with what she thinks her guy will like because she wants to keep the relationship at all cost. She plays a little hard-to-get, then calls him every now, text him when he doesn’t answers her calls, always dressed up in her fanciest to please the guy and she serves him all these just within the first two months of meeting. Isn’t that a recipe for disaster? You answer that.
Why do guys misbehave after few months?
Hey, you just asked me a question I really wish I wouldnt have to answer, but you caught me in public and for my unborn daughter sake (lol), who knows how far this piece might go.
A guy runs mostly because the girl’s behavior doesn’t suggest she places a high value on herself. Cmon! The relationship is new and the bond is relatively still shallow, yet she’s already dealt him her best card. I’ll surely misbehave too.
Give him your all and get nothing enough. What this nice girl don’t know is- The fact that she is willing to overcompensate to a virtual stranger immediately suggests one of two things; He’ll either assume she is desperate , or assume she is cheap. Or both. And trust me, you don’t want to have a guy who has this assumptions of you. In this, no love lost except that what get lost is his appreciation for extra effort.
Once a guy begins to lose respect for a woman because she’s willing to subtly devalue herself, he will also lose the desire to get to respect you or he might avoid getting more closer to her.
The way out-
Moderation- A lady/girl shouldn’t go extra-mile to impress any guy. Am not saying you shouldn’t try, but a mile is just fine, ignore the extra. On a second and strict thought- she shouldn’t even go any mile! ‘Coz at the end, soon, this same guy will eventually fall for a girl that doesn’t call, text or check up on him always. I’m not implying a girl should completely ignore or careless- NO. Its quite the opposite. All that is needed is merely putting moderation to everything.
Timing- A guy will definitely fall for a less romantic girl, when she eventually beep him up (once in a blue moon). He feels “Man! I’m so special.” That’s exactly what he’ll say to himself wearing a big grin. The difference here is only the timing- the amount of time and effort he had to invest first. He didn’t get it all right up front and he appreciated it more.
Don’t get my words twisted for that “hard to get” thing you girls often act. I mean you should be hard to own not hard to get. Period!